Part lll
I saw light. Brightness; the pain was gone. What relief. Judah came running toward me, arms extended. He screamed my name over and over.
“Judah!” I awoke in a full sweat, panting for breath. I’d had the same dream for the last 5 days; always seeing Judah, never reaching him. I’d awake before he actually got to me.
It had been a week since the battle, and still no word from him. I had been moved to a house that was turned into a hospital, but my fever lingered.
The wound in my shoulder was causing considerable trouble. At first it ached all the way to my ears; my fingertips numb. Now the pain was more tolerable, and I was just left with the fever. The mother of the lady of the house, an older woman named Hannah, stayed at my side constantly. Now, she set her knitting on the table beside her, picked up the cool cloth and began to again wipe my head like she had mere minutes before.
“Any word from Judah? How long's it been since the battle? Are you sure you spelled his name right on the envelope? K-Y-L-E??” My anxious eyes searched hers. I knew what she’d say; I had asked the same questions every day upon arrival here at this house.
“No, Johnny.” She said. “You really should rest. Your fever will never let up when you’re anxious so.”
But I couldn’t. Every time my eyes were closed, I saw him. He was always on my mind.
I sighed. Despair filled my mind. I shivered again, this time bringing pain to my right arm, cradled in a sling over my chest. I tried to breathe deep, and tried to smile at Hannah’s concern-filled look. My arm was healing fast; I’d be back to the Army sooner than the doctors thought. I was just grateful the doctors let me keep my arm. If it had damaged the shoulder joint any more, they said, I could’ve lost my arm to the collar bone.
“Well, Johnny, if you can’t rest, tell me some about yourself.” Hannah probed gently, not prying but almost curious. Even after a week, I had been too tired to talk beyond asking about Judah.
“There’s not much to tell.” I shifted my head to look her in the eye, then began.
“I was born in a little town called Gettysburg, not far from here, but in Pennsylvania.” Hannah was a native of Sharpsburg, Maryland, so she somewhat knew the area. (Sharpsburg was the town where the battle was fought. The exact location was at a little body of water called Antietam Creek.)
“Pa, he was a farmer. Taught me and my sister Carrie how to plant the corn right, how to hitch up the mules for plowing, all that. He never went to school, but he was smart. Taught by his pa how to read, do his numbers. He didn’t like schools much. Said they were too controlled by other people. So he had Ma teach us at home. That’s how we got so much time to learn the farmin’ stuff.”
I paused to catch my breath. Hannah’s point of tiring me out by talking was working. She nodded for me to continue, so I went on.
“I got the fever three years ago; I was sick for months. Maybe that’s why I can’t shake this one. Pa..”
“Johnny,” Hannah cut in. “How old were you then?”
There came the question. Hannah knew I wasn't old enough to be a soldier. Judah and I had known the enlistment officer; so he looked the other way so we could enlist. I didn't lie then, and I wasn't starting now.
“13."
"So..." Hannah looked to the ceiling as she did the simple addition. "that makes you 16 now. You're the same age of my grandson. He was a soldier too."
Was?
"Go ahead Johnny."
"Pa got the fever a month after I did, and it only took a week to take him. His last words to me were a Bible verse, ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.’
“What about your mother?”
“She got the fever too, but later, in ’60. She died after two weeks. I took Carrie to an aunt’s house in ’61, just weeks after Fort Sumter was attacked. I wanted to enlist, and I did. I guess you know the rest.”
“I’m so sorry for your losses, Johnny. Losing your family is a hard thing. I’ve already lost a son and a grandson to the war, both at Shiloh."
There it was. Her grandson was now dead.
I’m going to get you some broth and more water. Stay awake till I get back.”
I nodded, but I knew I’d be asleep in moments, back to the terrible nightmare.
“Judah”, I breathed again in my sleep. But this time, instead of being startled awake before he reached me, I wrapped my arms around him, sobbing.
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